It's
been two and half weeks now since we got the stunning news that we had lost our
Papa Nick. No one is truly prepared for the loss of a loved one, but in our
case it was so unexpected to have left us breathless. I had gone up to
Louisville the weekend before to visit Papa in the hospital with pneumonia,
thinking I would do my part and take a shift or two as we tried to make sure he
was never alone. Keeping him from being alone was more about not letting his
stubborn self get into trouble and knowing how much he hated hospitals and
doctors rather than any great fear that he was in danger.
So
I got the pleasure of spending two great evenings with my papa, with the
television on and him sitting up asleep, his usual position. I learned that they
moved to the basement so they'd always be safe from storms and tornadoes. I had
always wondered. I got to hold his hand and kiss his forehead. On Sunday, as I
was preparing to leave, we set up a Meal calendar, so he'd have some good
cooking when he was released on Monday.
But
Monday came and went, and there he stayed. First a heart issue, then it is as
though the hospital itself was staking a claim on his life. After decades of
smoking and just living a hard, working man's life, his body gave up on him.
I
remember that Wednesday night so well. Sherry and I had been at church for a
Praise and Worship night and the song How Great is Our God was playing. Our
church does a wonderful mix where it flows right into How Great Thou Art. For
years, every time I have heard that song, I have thought of my Papa. He
wouldn't have wanted to be recognized and thought of as great, but he was. He
was our spiritual rock and my walking Jesus. When I think of Jesus' life, his
servant's heart, his loving all people regardless of sin, it reminds me of Papa
and the way he loved everyone so well. The way he loved his family at
Thanksgiving, but could always be counted on to leave right after dessert to go
love his other family, St. Dennis AA group, because they needed him more on
that Holiday night. I was floored to hear the stories at his funeral, about
comments from people of how he had literally saved their lives in the 30 years
he helped lead the AA group.
I
remember that Wednesday evening as the song was playing, feeling so close to
Papa, and yet, feeling that something wasn't quite right. . . and then getting
the call not long after I got home that he was being put on the respirator, and
then before it seemed I had even hung up, that he was gone.
In
the two weeks since, I have reflected on the life he lived, cried my buckets of
tears, but then began to feel a sense of joy in my heart. I remember so vividly
talking to him on one of our family beach trips and his faith. I remember him
saying that the best part of his week was taking communion on Sundays, taking
in Christ and being clean again--starting fresh and new each week. I envision
him walking through the Pearly Gates and meeting his Jesus, greeted with
"Welcome, my good and faithful servant," in white robes, clean and
sparkly. He'd reach out to hug my dad with a "How ya doing?" Then
he'd be directed to the most emerald green garden with packs of seeds and told,
"It's yours." How he would have loved that, toiling in God's garden,
waiting patiently for the day when we will all reunite.
As
I spent that weekend in Louisville, visiting with Papa's family and friends,
one song buzzed in my head the whole time--Great is Thy Faithfulness. It was
like my mantra. I've attached it below along with some pictures.
Great is Thy Faithfulness
A devoted blood donor
A loving, faithful husband
Just "Dad"
Full of stories if you were one of the early risers camping.
Papa to all the little kids and big kids alike
This is my favorite picture. How handsome he was and full of life!
Rest in Peace my good and faithful servant
Nicholas John Bibelhauser, Sr.
September 16, 1930
February 22, 2012




4 comments:
This is wonderful Amy. I still miss him so much. I know he is in a better place but it hurts. Love you all. Aunt Joyce
It is still so hard to believe I will never kiss his forehead again. That he will not say bye pal, thanks for stopping by. I am afraid I did not tell him I loved him enough and wish I could have held his hand as he passed from this world into the next. He is now with his higher power. Love you dad.
Karen.........
Amy, What a wonderful tribute to your grandfather. I didn't know him personally, but my father (Davie Hartlage) speaks of him with the highest regard and great respect. I'm sorry for your loss.
Theresa (Hartlage) Koehler
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